Aggression in children is of two types. You must have, once in a while, seen small children in a shop, mall or a market pace and even at home throwing anger tantrums to parents when their demands are not met with. Such children are seen screaming, hitting and pulling their parents and sometimes even squirming on the floor, irrespective of the place and time. Such type of conduct is termed as ‘active aggressive behavior’.
Consider the opposite of the above. Kids start resisting their elders. Instead of showing belligerent attitude, the child simply does not confront or answer. Rather, the child just walks away and choses to remain unreceptive to all commands. These children, instead, of getting annoyed they, frustrate the adults. This type of conduct is termed as ‘passive aggressive behavior’. In a nutshell, children in the former case are said to ‘act-out’ and in the later case ‘act-in’.
Aggression or resistivity manifests in children who have not been skilled enough to communicate well and solve problems associated with anger and anxiety. Parents and teachers need to understand the reasons and help children to be on top of this type of behavior. Some significant tips are given in the succeeding paragraphs.
From the time our kids are very young, parents should encourage them to suitably voice anger and hostility. They should be taught to be patient and wait for their turn. Being good role model to kids can do this. It is okay to be sometimes angry with your kid, but more importantly, it is to let your kid observe you getting over it with an encouraging resolution of the conflict.
Let your child know that there is a reward for putting in hard work and meeting timelines to accomplish pushing tasks. On the other hand, the child should also in no uncertain terms know the consequences of not following instructions and not delivering what he/she is supposed to. Besides, your child should be made to unambiguously understand that undue demands would not be met with.
Last but not the least; children learn and do what they observe. The tendency to effortlessly pick-up the evil practices as well as take the path of least resistance is true for kids too. Hence, parents and teachers should be good examples in front of children, at all the times. Remember, ‘what we sow shall we reap’.

By Dr LK Jain,
Principal

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